Stars On Her Window

                                                                      written by Kajal Swarup

    One slipped down, then the other, some were dragged down with the one above, and in no time 

    they all gave in, finding their way to the end of the window as more raindrops found their way on the         

    glass.

    The drops that appeared on her window were looked upon like stars, for they glowed on the glass 

    when light reflected on them. For her, it wasn't the sun or the moonlight allowing the drops on her 

    window to shine. Instead, they were a cluster of her own stars making patterns and frequent showers 

    trying to keep her entertained in monsoon for as a kid she wasn't allowed to step out in the rain.

    So she stood by the window, standing on her toes, resting her head on the windowpane while she 

    listened to the downpour and spent her time thinking, how would it feel when the stars on her 

    window touched her skin.

    She lived inside during the rains for her mother who dreaded the rain for she despised the 

    darkness it brought and said - " It is moisture that covered the earth like a curse, sadness 

    pouring through the happy sunny wind." 

    What could she do, she had a mother who loved her enough to not let the darkness leave a trace 

    on her beloved daughter? Only if she knew that perhaps what she thought was darkness was an 

    adventure for her daughter, that what she saw as a curse was freedom for her daughter. But, as a 

    loyal child who loves her mother more than anyone in the world, she respected her words 

    and never spoke of her will.

    Time, as we know, takes away the people we love, now she stood there in a black dress beside 

    her mother's grave unaware of the clouds gathered above her.

    Her grey eyes blinking restlessly as she resisted the tears to fall out, repeating her mother's 

    words between deep breaths, "stay strong" she whispered but words couldn't provide the comfort 

    she felt in her mother's arms, so she stood there with a stumbled heart, letting her breath falter 

    while her feelings were still hostile.

    As the clouds above threatened her with thunder, her heart jolted to rhyme with her breath. 

    She looked up at the grey sky above her and her gaze shifted to her mother's gravestone, should 

    she finally give in? or should she keep her promise?

    She takes a faulty step allowing her heels to break, dropping her limp body on the ground. 

    Her body, weak and pale felt pain strike in, letting in, the memories of her mother's last words. 

    "Perhaps I should have let you feel but I just wanted to protect you, I love you June." 

    Her words sink in June's heart as she looks up at the sky and realizes what she meant, so when 

    a raindrop finally touches her cheek, the cold drop on her warm skin lets a sigh escape her lips. 

    And then it pours on her like the stars showered on her window. Her hands in the mud 

    supporting her limp body in the cold air, her long wet damp hair and skin covered in traces of mud 

    while the stars slipped on her skin. This time, she didn't move, didn't run, instead looked at her 

    mother's grave and said -

    "You protected me, mother, from sadness and pain. You didn't let anything dark touch me. 

    But only if you had taught me how to defend rather than hide, maybe it wouldn't hurt this much. 

    You kept me safe and told me to be strong. But how could I be molded into something strong 

    when the person shaping me only taught me to escape. I love you, Ma. But I want to breathe. 

    Crying doesn't make me weak; it tells me how strong I've been, and my stars aren't darkness, 

    they are heavens way of blessing me, letting me finally feel. " she spoke out loud, letting her 

    feelings out for the first time, feeling pain for the first time.

    I know, pain is an awful feeling, but it only makes you dense, stronger, and wise. Today, June 

    found herself through the pain. Maybe we are meant to feel the pain to be grateful for happiness. 

    Our feelings make us stronger; they make us who we are. So, let your feelings pour cause hiding 

    them will only suffocate you. Let them out cause your emotions are meant to be more than your 

    stars, your emotions are meant to be felt not just be known.

    written by Kajal Swarup